Another weekend here and gone. Friday night was the worst. We went to dinner (I ate some bad things, okay 2 biscuits) then we went to the mall. My husband walked away and my son disappeared. I was calling my husband, had him paged then I had security out looking for him. Here he was with his dad the whole time. I freaking crying here and all upset and my husband thought it was funny. My daughter being the smart ass she is said I’m the good one, I stayed with Mommy. She’s 6. My son said he told me he was going with his Dad but I didn’t hear him. Oh what a night.
Saturday I slept all day again. I have no energy to do anything. We ordered out and I ate what I wanted. BAD I know. Sunday was the same thing. Today though I am back on track. Guess we need to eliminate weekends. Next weekend won’t be too bad because I have class all day both days so I won’t have time to eat!
I am sad today. Not really sure why, just am. I am tired of spending all my time fighting for things. I have been fighting with direct TV. I am being over charged because this credit didn’t go through and that credit didn’t go through. I am tired of calling them about my service not working. Finally I was transferred to a supervisor who was really nice and knowledgeable to hopefully all that is taken care of. The electric company is another story. Waiting for them to send a shut off notice. So tired of all this. Can’t wait to get my tax refund and get caught up on everything. It is a shame that I need a refund to do that. Everything is going up in price however the paycheck isn’t. I don’t know how some people live. I’m thankful for what I have!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Are we adults or children?
Holy cow! Sometimes I feel like I work with a whole bunch of highschool children. Okay maybe only one or two okay definitly one. I mean WTH? Why are some people so vindictive, rude, back stabbing people? Sometimes being that way will move you up, but have you noticed that the way you are acting hasn't gotten you anywhere? YOU ARE STILL IN THE SAME OLE SPOT! Stop and think, why and you will see.
Okay, I know you have no idea what I'm talking about. In due time. I promise I will spill the beans soon. Patience dear friends!
Well on the diet front. OUCH hungry today. I feel like such a pig thus far. My will power seems to be GONE. See what I mean in the food journal I post later. Really it isn't bad, I have WPA for those kinds of times, but I really feel like I shouldn't use them right now. I have SO much weight to lose.
Okay, I know you have no idea what I'm talking about. In due time. I promise I will spill the beans soon. Patience dear friends!
Well on the diet front. OUCH hungry today. I feel like such a pig thus far. My will power seems to be GONE. See what I mean in the food journal I post later. Really it isn't bad, I have WPA for those kinds of times, but I really feel like I shouldn't use them right now. I have SO much weight to lose.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Day 2
Breakfast
Coffee with sweet & low and FF milk
1 pk. butter instant grits (2)
Lunch
Progresso Beef veggie
Dinner
(Planned)
Pork chops baked with garlic/zuchinni/squash/garlic/chicken broth
pineapple in juice
1 pk. 100 cal. cookies (2)
Water (Have to work on this)
I
WPA Left: 31/35
Coffee with sweet & low and FF milk
1 pk. butter instant grits (2)
Lunch
Progresso Beef veggie
Dinner
(Planned)
Pork chops baked with garlic/zuchinni/squash/garlic/chicken broth
pineapple in juice
1 pk. 100 cal. cookies (2)
Water (Have to work on this)
I
WPA Left: 31/35
Hey, I got something to SAY!
One of the hardest things in life is being quiet when you have something to say. I do, I have something to say, but I have to wait a little longer. Yes big news coming soon!
So here I sit at work again. Drinking my peppermint tea and oh so bored. We are doing some testing and it is going SO SLOW! The definition of my life. Boring, slow, but sometimes I do have a funny thing to share every once in a while. Today I don’t. LOL!
I am a tad bit hungry today. Okay I want CARBS and SUGAR. I know I can do it, but thy tummy is growling so loudly. I’m probably just not eating enough, but for the first week, that’s fine by me.
Last night my hubby made me a nice salad so that when I got home from class I didn’t have to worry about dinner. I like when he does things like that. Makes me feel taken care of!
Speaking of class…. OMG is all I have to say. There is now way I am going to get through this class unless I really make time for that term they use…. STUDY! The teacher is really nice and fun, but she is a little tough. Just making us learn I know, but the stress of it all is really freaking me out. I know I can do it, just have to STUDY! See that word popped up again.
We had a lecture quiz last night. 5 questions. I know I missed at least one. The lab quiz was tough. I know I flunked that one. My mind went blank and fear consumed me. I forgot all the terms I just had down pat in my head. I was so grossly disappointed in myself, but now I know what is expected of me and I can work harder next time. Oh yeah, lab and lecture quizzes are EVERY WEEK!!
Oh so back to the diet, sorry, I seemed to have rambled on. Today is pretty much planned out. I grabbed the wrong kind of grits at the store, they are the butter flavor and not core. So I had to use 2 points. I need to run and get the right kind or eat oatmeal instead. I like grits though. The plain ones seem to have a bit of buttery flavor, so I am not sure why they have a butter flavor on the market. I will post my food journal a little later with everything.
This weekend I am having a cooking fest. Well maybe, I don’t have much freezer space and since the refrigerator in the basement quit working I am very limited! I need either another fridge or a chest freezer. I did like the fridge in the basement though; it really kept the beer cold. HA HA HA! Looks like for the time being, we just have to settle with what we have.
I guess that’s about all for right now. Have I bored you yet?
So here I sit at work again. Drinking my peppermint tea and oh so bored. We are doing some testing and it is going SO SLOW! The definition of my life. Boring, slow, but sometimes I do have a funny thing to share every once in a while. Today I don’t. LOL!
I am a tad bit hungry today. Okay I want CARBS and SUGAR. I know I can do it, but thy tummy is growling so loudly. I’m probably just not eating enough, but for the first week, that’s fine by me.
Last night my hubby made me a nice salad so that when I got home from class I didn’t have to worry about dinner. I like when he does things like that. Makes me feel taken care of!
Speaking of class…. OMG is all I have to say. There is now way I am going to get through this class unless I really make time for that term they use…. STUDY! The teacher is really nice and fun, but she is a little tough. Just making us learn I know, but the stress of it all is really freaking me out. I know I can do it, just have to STUDY! See that word popped up again.
We had a lecture quiz last night. 5 questions. I know I missed at least one. The lab quiz was tough. I know I flunked that one. My mind went blank and fear consumed me. I forgot all the terms I just had down pat in my head. I was so grossly disappointed in myself, but now I know what is expected of me and I can work harder next time. Oh yeah, lab and lecture quizzes are EVERY WEEK!!
Oh so back to the diet, sorry, I seemed to have rambled on. Today is pretty much planned out. I grabbed the wrong kind of grits at the store, they are the butter flavor and not core. So I had to use 2 points. I need to run and get the right kind or eat oatmeal instead. I like grits though. The plain ones seem to have a bit of buttery flavor, so I am not sure why they have a butter flavor on the market. I will post my food journal a little later with everything.
This weekend I am having a cooking fest. Well maybe, I don’t have much freezer space and since the refrigerator in the basement quit working I am very limited! I need either another fridge or a chest freezer. I did like the fridge in the basement though; it really kept the beer cold. HA HA HA! Looks like for the time being, we just have to settle with what we have.
I guess that’s about all for right now. Have I bored you yet?
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Day 1
I am doing WW Core program
Breakfast
Coffee with sweet &low and FF milk
2 pks. plain instant grits
Lunch
Progresso Lentil soup
Dinner
salad w/carrots, onions, cukes and FF thousand island
Water (Have to work on this)
III
WPA Left: 35/35
Breakfast
Coffee with sweet &low and FF milk
2 pks. plain instant grits
Lunch
Progresso Lentil soup
Dinner
salad w/carrots, onions, cukes and FF thousand island
Water (Have to work on this)
III
WPA Left: 35/35
Smack in the face
Holy cow! I thought I was 216, but to step on the scale at WW today, I am 219.4!! (I updated the other post) Wow almost 220! I wanted to cry. I was so upset. I guess me steeping on the scale alone doesn't do it for me. I guess I need others to see. Of course no one in this meeting would call me fat as there are others who are bigger, but to me I am a whale. Huge and undesirable.
Who am I?
Wow! Here I am. Doing it all over again. I keep thinking if I would have done things right the first time, I wouldn’t be back here. As true as that is, we all hit bottom and need to work our way up again. So I guess I will start with a little about me.
Hi! I’m Julie. I have been married to Michael for 7 years; however we have been together for 11. We have 2 children, Mikey 10 and Tayler 6. A few years after Tay was born, I decided I have had enough. I was tired of being FAT! I wanted to lose the weight and wear the sizes I did in high school. We at least attempt to anyway.
Growing up, I was never skinny. I was always heavy. Teased because of it and could never find clothes to fit me. I had lost a lot of weight in 1992 and enjoyed the new found attention, looks, and clothes I was able to obtain. I felt great, felt I looked great and just had so much energy.
Of course in my life all good things must come to an end. In 1996 I got pregnant and the pounds just packed on. Didn’t help that I acted like I was eating for an army. I felt too that oh once I have the baby the weight will just fall off. HA how far from the truth. For the next few years my weight was up and down.
The weight really started pouring on once I started working. I worked the night shift and we ordered what seemed like EVERY night. All day I laid on the couch and ate, at night I sat in my work chair and ate. I ballooned to 196. In May of 2005 I think it was I decided to join weight watchers. By October I had lost 25 pounds. However I lost my focus and quit attending meeting. I tried other diets. Joined gyms and just stopped going.
Now here I am in January 2008 weighting an astonishing 219 pounds. NEVER in my life did I ever weigh this much. Not while pregnant, NEVER! I am fearful. I fell so out of control. I WANT FOOD! Sure it doesn’t help that I am depressed and taking meds, but come on. Over 200, what’s next 300, 400? This has to stop. I need to gain control. Who is this person staring back at me in the mirror? This person whose clothes are so tight and uncomfortable?
Knowing that something must be done, I joined WW at work again. Today is my first day back on program. In an hour I will get my true starting weight. As scared as I am, it is time. I need to do this. I hurt, I’m tired, and I have no energy. It is time to focus and get rid of this nasty, overbearing, blubber I call myself. Time to find myself again and learn to love myself in the process.
So here I am. A new found blogger. I will be writing my food journals, feelings and whatever else I feel like writing about. Feel free to join me in this journey, leave me comments, and you own thought. I can do this…. WE CAN DO THIS!!!!
Hi! I’m Julie. I have been married to Michael for 7 years; however we have been together for 11. We have 2 children, Mikey 10 and Tayler 6. A few years after Tay was born, I decided I have had enough. I was tired of being FAT! I wanted to lose the weight and wear the sizes I did in high school. We at least attempt to anyway.
Growing up, I was never skinny. I was always heavy. Teased because of it and could never find clothes to fit me. I had lost a lot of weight in 1992 and enjoyed the new found attention, looks, and clothes I was able to obtain. I felt great, felt I looked great and just had so much energy.
Of course in my life all good things must come to an end. In 1996 I got pregnant and the pounds just packed on. Didn’t help that I acted like I was eating for an army. I felt too that oh once I have the baby the weight will just fall off. HA how far from the truth. For the next few years my weight was up and down.
The weight really started pouring on once I started working. I worked the night shift and we ordered what seemed like EVERY night. All day I laid on the couch and ate, at night I sat in my work chair and ate. I ballooned to 196. In May of 2005 I think it was I decided to join weight watchers. By October I had lost 25 pounds. However I lost my focus and quit attending meeting. I tried other diets. Joined gyms and just stopped going.
Now here I am in January 2008 weighting an astonishing 219 pounds. NEVER in my life did I ever weigh this much. Not while pregnant, NEVER! I am fearful. I fell so out of control. I WANT FOOD! Sure it doesn’t help that I am depressed and taking meds, but come on. Over 200, what’s next 300, 400? This has to stop. I need to gain control. Who is this person staring back at me in the mirror? This person whose clothes are so tight and uncomfortable?
Knowing that something must be done, I joined WW at work again. Today is my first day back on program. In an hour I will get my true starting weight. As scared as I am, it is time. I need to do this. I hurt, I’m tired, and I have no energy. It is time to focus and get rid of this nasty, overbearing, blubber I call myself. Time to find myself again and learn to love myself in the process.
So here I am. A new found blogger. I will be writing my food journals, feelings and whatever else I feel like writing about. Feel free to join me in this journey, leave me comments, and you own thought. I can do this…. WE CAN DO THIS!!!!
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