Who am I?

Wow! Here I am. Doing it all over again. I keep thinking if I would have done things right the first time, I wouldn’t be back here. As true as that is, we all hit bottom and need to work our way up again. So I guess I will start with a little about me.

Hi! I’m Julie. I have been married to Michael for 7 years; however we have been together for 11. We have 2 children, Mikey 10 and Tayler 6. A few years after Tay was born, I decided I have had enough. I was tired of being FAT! I wanted to lose the weight and wear the sizes I did in high school. We at least attempt to anyway.

Growing up, I was never skinny. I was always heavy. Teased because of it and could never find clothes to fit me. I had lost a lot of weight in 1992 and enjoyed the new found attention, looks, and clothes I was able to obtain. I felt great, felt I looked great and just had so much energy.

Of course in my life all good things must come to an end. In 1996 I got pregnant and the pounds just packed on. Didn’t help that I acted like I was eating for an army. I felt too that oh once I have the baby the weight will just fall off. HA how far from the truth. For the next few years my weight was up and down.

The weight really started pouring on once I started working. I worked the night shift and we ordered what seemed like EVERY night. All day I laid on the couch and ate, at night I sat in my work chair and ate. I ballooned to 196. In May of 2005 I think it was I decided to join weight watchers. By October I had lost 25 pounds. However I lost my focus and quit attending meeting. I tried other diets. Joined gyms and just stopped going.

Now here I am in January 2008 weighting an astonishing 219 pounds. NEVER in my life did I ever weigh this much. Not while pregnant, NEVER! I am fearful. I fell so out of control. I WANT FOOD! Sure it doesn’t help that I am depressed and taking meds, but come on. Over 200, what’s next 300, 400? This has to stop. I need to gain control. Who is this person staring back at me in the mirror? This person whose clothes are so tight and uncomfortable?

Knowing that something must be done, I joined WW at work again. Today is my first day back on program. In an hour I will get my true starting weight. As scared as I am, it is time. I need to do this. I hurt, I’m tired, and I have no energy. It is time to focus and get rid of this nasty, overbearing, blubber I call myself. Time to find myself again and learn to love myself in the process.

So here I am. A new found blogger. I will be writing my food journals, feelings and whatever else I feel like writing about. Feel free to join me in this journey, leave me comments, and you own thought. I can do this…. WE CAN DO THIS!!!!